Closing house.... or bringing it down... like the movie with Steve Martin.

Ok, so brace yourselves everyone: this blog is, yet again, about my girlfriend. I apologize.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I read the assignment was one situation with a very close friend of mine. When I first started seeing my girlfriend, it caused a lot of waves within my circle of friends. I lost a lot of friendships, but i could not be happier because of it. I found myself in the position, many times, of having to choose. I had to choose between my girlfriend, and my friends. I was put into positions that were not comfortable, nor fun. But I realized i didn't have to be in those positions. My girlfriend and I were not put there for any other reason except to make us unhappy. People were blaming things on my relationship that had no relevance. I'm pretty sure the Taco Bell food poisoning scare was blamed on us... somehow. Anyway, I was able to see what needed to be done: I needed to "clean house".
As time went on I was able to see who was my true friend, and who was not. As the saying goes: "I would rather have one great friend, than a million bad ones." Or something along those lines. Even if I got that quote wrong, I still think they are profound words to live by. I stood up for what I knew, and still know is right, and because of it my life infinitely better.
One friend in particular sticks out in my mind. She and I were really good friends and had a solid relationship, I thought. We never fought and things were always on the up-note... until i started hanging out with the girl who is now my girlfriend. As soon as that happened, my old friend became very different. She became offensive, rude and all around insulting to the both of us, and used many outlets to show it. I offered my help to her for one of her classes, but warned her that because of a show that I was in, I was only going to be able to help her on days which were open to me and she agreed. When push came to shove, and I was not around as much as she needed me to be, she went on blaming my girlfriend for taking me away when I could have been helping my friend. Even though it was clearly not on the fault of my relationship, she still found it a very acceptable scapegoat. So, needless to say I "hit the roof" to quote my mother. Now, as I said in my previous blogs: I have a short temper. I know it, and I own up to it. But I think I do a very good job at picking the battles that I choose to fight... I chose to fight this one. This instance was the end of our friendship.
Once the dust cleared from the "friendships" lost I find myself in a better spot today. My girlfriend and I are happier than ever, and we can actually sit down and have a good belly laugh over what happened in the past. I actually credit all of those situations for how strong our relationship is. We had to go through a lot to get to where we are, and we have never been more grateful to those people for making those few months miserable for us. I guess they were better friends than I thought because if it wasn't for them, I don't know if my girlfriend and I would be as strong as we are today. I would never let those people back into my life again, and I sure as fruck won't be put into any of those situations again, but I am completely confident in knowing that if I was... I'd know exactly how to handle it.

PS: This is now Joe's girlfriend. He was writing this blog in my room and after peering over his shoulder to read the first line, I've realized that you've all probably become pretty familiar with me. So I figured I should at least say hello. Hello! :)

Me and you... heart to heart... right now.

As stated in my previous blog: I am not one to show my emotions unless I am completely comfortable. The people around me either have to be my family, or I have to be able to trust them very much. Once in a comfortable situation I am completely free and willing to show any emotion without filtering.

The only emotion I DO let out in public is anger. I have a very bad temper and I am easily annoyed. Unfortunately, when I am either of the two it becomes very noticeable to those around me. I get silent, snippy, sarcastic, and pretty much unpleasant to be around… I assume.

There are many things that can bring an emotion out from me, but the strongest is anything having to do with my family; pictures or anything that reminds me, of my nephews and nieces especially. http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbtGjZw3aOGER&emid=sharshar&linkid=link2

On that URL you will find pictures from my niece’s, Isabella Marie, christening. Pretty much my whole family is there, except for my oldest brother, his wife, son and two daughters (I love them too). Now, all these pictures really stir me up. They make me feel proud to have such a family, honored that they are my family, happy to be there with all them, pissed off remembering the time my brother pulled off my bathing suit when I was a kid and hung it on a tree branch when I was too short and fat to reach it. But all these things make us a family, and these pictures, and more remind me of that.

Fortunately there is also pictures of my girlfriend, Michele, in there as well (rhyme not intended). She is another person that when I see a picture, or anything, that has her in it, or reminds me of her, I feel overwhelmed. I will spare you all the gushy details because I think I through some in on my last blog. In fact sometimes when I open my wallet and see the picture of her I will lose track of thought or “stop in my tracks,” literally. So if you really want to hear the lovey-dovey stuff… read some of my last post. She is actually one of the main reasons why I am getting better at emoting. She is slowly but surely showing me how better things can come by opening up to people, rather than being on the defense. I thank her for that all the time.

I think I am a passionate person, but like I said, I choose to show it to certain people. I don’t really like wearing my emotions out on my sleeve, and feel better by saving the strong emotions for those, in my mind, will appreciate them more.

Success

Success is happiness. My opinion of what success is has been instilled in my brain from my family. I have learned that everything happens for a reason and there is one common goal that everyone in the world shares and that goal is happiness. Though I have heard many variations of what happiness is, and I’m sure there are just as much, if not more, when it comes to success, but I feel that stripped down to the basic idea of success, you will find the strive to be happy.
The dictionary definition of Success according to Webster’s Dictionary is: “An event that accomplishes its intended purpose.” Anyone who reaches their desired outcome of a goal will inevitably be happy. Therefore, I think happiness and success are somewhat synonymous. Since I was a child I can remember my parents telling my siblings and me that as long as we are happy we will be successful, and I can not think of a better way to live my life. I re-think situations and scenarios and plan for prolonged gratification and think to myself “this will make me happy,” and that secures my future success.
When I asked my roommate what his idea of success is he answered, “A family that loves you,” which to me is incredibly true, but to others might not be in the cards for their future.
Albert Schweitzer said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” That quote perfectly explains my point. Don’t strive to be successful to be happy, fight to be happy and then you will be successful. Joe Love, of Home magazine said, “Whatever it is in life that you want, you must begin today to become a "positive thinker." Once you do this your future success will be unlimited.” If you are happy and positive about your life, that is all the success you need.
I have recently come into a relationship with someone I have been friends with for a long time. It wasn’t until then I started thinking about the goals of my future. I have found a new key to my happiness. For a while I was only doing what would make me happy, and concentrating on how things would affect my life. But since this person came into my life I have found that her happiness can make me happy as well. I do things that will make her happy, and that in turn makes me infinitely happier than I thought I could be. I was talking to a close friend of mine who works at a soup kitchen, and does much for the homeless, and she said “the key to happiness is helping others,” and I said that depends on what kind of person you are. If you are the kind of person that is happy making other people happy, then of course you will succeed. I discovered that the key is finding that someone whose happiness is more important than your own, and make sure that person feels the same. There are many different ways, in many different languages; you could define success, but in my life it is as simple as saying, “Success is Happiness”.

Me.... I think.

This is a little bit about me: Joe Sabatino. Well the first, and most obvious, thing about me is that I have no clear concept of time and responsibility. I already missed the deadline for this blog. I am very absent minded and go about life thinking about too many things at once. It seems the harder I try at specific things, the more things I leave out. The things in my life I think I am good at and deserve my full attention tend to fall in that opposite direction. I make jokes at things I don’t understand and I hate confrontation. I do, however, take responsibility for my actions and am not ashamed to admit when I am wrong (which I am proud of). I over exaggerate sometimes, maybe because I like to make things more interesting and appealing. I find myself bored a lot so I have to keep myself busy by moving or playing with objects that aren’t mine. I doodle in class, and that takes about a bulk of my notebooks… besides this class, of course. I have a few fears, such as crowds and going to the bathroom in public. Although, I am in the theater so I am very personable, I think. I am not afraid to be in front of people or approach people. I love my family and I am very close to them all.
I was never really good at talking about myself. In fact I find it one of the hardest things to do. When I asked one of my good friends, Colleen Kelly, to describe me in one sentence she said, “Joe Sabatino is a charismatic, funny guy with a good heart and cares more for people than he lets on, except for his family, which is his backbone.” Now, besides the family thing I would have NEVER been able to identify those other things about me. I will say that I am very reserved with my feelings. I let people know I care about them, but in my own way. I don’t wear my emotions or my thoughts out on my sleeve, and I know there is a time and a place for everything. I will let people know when I am uncomfortable, or I don’t like them. The one thing I hate is when people patronize.
This is officially one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write. It’s not that I don’t like talking about myself; it’s just that I find it hard to find things to talk about. I think I’m pretty boring when it comes to things like “who I am”. I could talk to you for a few hours strait about my opinions on different subject, my agenda for the day, recipes but I am at a loss of words when it comes to writing about “me”.